May 5th - Every Day in May
I knew at some point this little challenge of mine was going to get harder and bring on some stress. I looked forward to that moment so I could dissect it, hoping that the struggle would in itself shed some light. Today was the first of one of those days. Up until now I have been excited about my healthy actions, looked forward to them all day, and planned my time around them.
Today, coming home from work around 3pm I didn’t have a firm plan and I felt drained of energy. I hadn’t moved my body yet, and I hadn’t taken care of myself emotionally or spiritually. My tank was low. Knowing that I am going to sleep with my circadian rhythms, I knew I had lots of time for things to turn around.
Health is Mental/Emotional:
I knew I needed to tend to my emotional health before any others because a lack of energy and motivation feels a lot like the beginnings of depression to me. I have lots of lovely data points on this fact. And I know that this feeling can amplify with inaction. My go to trick with a depressive energy drain is… drum roll….CONNECTION and ASKING FOR HELP. I asked for Troys help. He said of course and we headed out on a walk, to the beach, to put our toes in the sand, watch the dog have zoomies, and connect with each other. He listened, he asked constructive questions, I listened, I asked constructive questions, and an hour later my emotional state was bouncing back rapidly. We came home and made dinner together (Veggie Pot Pie Skillet with Cheddar Biscuits) and my emotional tank was topped back off. It sounds easy, but when I think about how much internal work I had to do to put those dots together, how much therapy, and practice, and messing up, and not getting it…. well, I’m proud to stand here doing what sounds easy.
Health is Physical:
A quick run to get the endorphins going at 8pm rounded out my physical healthy task for the day and I was lucky to have company from Troy. He knows to keep a closer eye on me when my emotional state is headed downhill and I’m really thankful for his wisdom on days like today. Even though I had rebounded, he was still happy to ride along on my run and keep an eye on me. We have to do that for the people we love.
I’m not sure how many days in a row I can keep running. I’ve never been a run every day kind of gal, my endurance triathlete training has ingrained in me that every other day running is a bit more healthy for the body, but at this juncture I feel like questioning everything I have previously believed to be true, just because I can. Obviously some people run every day. Ron Hill ran every day for 52 years, and he seemed to fair okay. At this juncture I value curiosity and wonder over rules and previously held beliefs. So, I’m going to keep running, it feels good.
Health is Spiritual:
Gotta love the digital access our local library provides free of charge! Thanks to my library card, I dug deep into The Universe in a Single Atom, by the Dalai Lama, a beautiful text about the convergence of science and spirituality. I have a scientific background, having earned a Bachelors Degree in Pure Mathematics. One would think pure math is a scientific study, but the proof of the existence of God comes up as a talking point often. Pure Mathematicians often feel it is their field that flirts with the line of science and spirituality and you find many deeply spiritual pure mathematicians (also lots of cooky ones). I thought this quote was a lovely position taken by the Dalai Lama in the book. Mic Drop.
The view that all aspects of reality can be reduced to matter and its various particles is, to my mind, as much a metaphysical position as the view that an organizing intelligence created and controls reality.
- Dalai Lama
Also, this piece touched me about the theory of emptiness, something pure mathematicians spend A LOT of time talking about. Zero… it’s a big deal in math. It is the lack of existence that therefore becomes a thing… and existing thing. Zero, empty, the lack being something… as we define it… it comes into it’s own existence. It’s a beautiful concept with so much to learn.
The theory of emptiness…is the deep recognition that there is a fundamental disparity between the way we perceive the world, including our own existence in it, and the way things actually are.
-Dalai Lama
Loving this book is my spiritual practice for today. I may resume it tomorrow or take a break and pick it back up in a few days. Unknown at this time.
Insights
All in all, I’m stoked to have made it through a bit of a slumptastic day that required an intentional rebound. Sleep is still going well and I started a sleep journal. I learned more about REM sleep today and dreams… I will share more on that in the future.
Until Tomorrow, In good health…