May 20th - Every Day in May

I moved through the day with intention and honesty. I had grace, and kindness on my heart. I was relaxed, and gentle, and kind, and I also took care of myself, and did things that made me feel like a rockstar. There is a growth happening here in May that I am enjoying and want to keep building upon.

Health is Physical:

I had my first good run in a long time today. While I have been getting in the miles these last few weeks I have to admit that I hadn’t had much pep in my step. I was enjoying the scenery and the company when I had it, but the body wasn’t really in step with everything else. It just felt doggy. I ran 10 yesterday so I was expecting to have a cruiser of a run today, maybe 3 or 4 miles, slowly. Troy came with me on his bike to get some fresh air. I started running and my legs felt like normal legs. So of course, I picked it up a bit. Nothing earth shattering here, but I ran like I didn’t give a darn and that felt really nice. Plus, it was a sunset run… coincidence… I think not.

Health is Mental/Emotional:

I saw a post on Instagram sometime back talking about the movie 3100: Run and Become. It is about the connection between running and spirituality and I put it on my list of potential Mental/Emotional Healthy task options. Today I sat down and watched the movie from end to end. It follows some racers who are doing the 3100 Transcendence Run in NYC, a race where you run around a 1/2 mile city block for like 40-60 days in order to hit 3100 miles. It only gets a few racers, but it is more about spirituality than it is about racing, and it’s bananas. The movie also highlights several other spiritual running practices and I found it a good way to get my feet wet with the subject.

The segment that really intrigued me in the movie was about the monks in Japan that run a marathon a day around Mount Hiei every day for 1000 days. If they quit, they must commit suicide and the bodies are buried around the path (heavy, I know). The movie followed one of the monks and I found him to be so beautiful. They wear sandals, dress in all white, and do A LOT of praying along the way. In 130 years, only 43 monks have completed the journey. This article was awesome to learn more about them.

Once you have run for competitive reasons can you shift running to more of a spiritual practice? Can you still race? Will you still want to race? If you have your spiritual ducks in a row is racing still appealing? These are all questions I really wonder about. They seem in opposition for me right now. Racing means so many things, and being healthy and well rounded means so many things, and bringing the two together seems daunting. But I think asking these questions is worth something. How do the ego and soul dance together in this world, and who is in charge?

Health is Spiritual

I’m back into my Care of the Soul book and it’s infinitely juicy. I have to read every line like twice. I’m not a fast reader as it is, so this is going to take awhile. I’m learning right now about going with instead of pushing against the things in your life or about yourself you think you should change. He uses dependence as an example. Fearing you are too dependent and that you should be independent, and therefore thinking that your problem is dependence. So not true. He says in the book “Can you find a way to be dependent without feeling disempowered” and I was like oooohhhh, that’s the twist.

When I look at the areas that I call a struggle in my life right now, I want to try to find these sorts of turn of phrase, turn of awareness. Can this actually be a beautiful thing that needs some tweaking to become a little more fitting? I like that perspective. The real trick here comes, for example, in the relationship between dependence and feeling disempowered. That link there is the money ah-haha. That’s what I’m going for, trying to find those sorts of links in my own life. And I think when push comes to shove, and I can’t find it, the key is to accept those parts of me as exactly what they are, parts of me, working harmoniously or disharmoniously in my life day in and day out. Keep them on observation, not disownment. Working with what is, rather than what I wish was there.

An intent to heal can get in the way of seeing.

- Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul

I also loved this little quip he had about storytelling and I thought it put together the perfect words for why I write, why I blog. It is in service to my soul, it keeps me healthy, and it allows me to see the themes that circle my life. Good stuff all around!

Insights

I felt quite alive today. My life is starting to take a shape that I really enjoy, almost revel in. It feels very free and open, and there is not much worry or overwhelm these days. I am so loved.

Until tomorrow… in good health.