May 21st - Every Day in May
I ducked out of the real world today. I accomplished very little and took a self care, do what I want, sort of day. So many little things piled up that I need to tackle tomorrow, but staying in the moment and relaxing today was so decadent and worth every missed task. It was like dessert all day long. I can’t get over living here and the access I have to sand, and sun, and water.
Health is Physical:
7.5 glorious miles with Sarah this morning around Los Osos after sleeping in was groovy. She told me about the strawberry lady that is coming tomorrow to Los Osos. I am hopping on that bandwagon and see some angle food cake in my future, or maybe some sweet biscuits. My virtual run across Tennessee is going well, I’m 20% of the way across as of yesterday and approaching Adamsville, sitting in 6000th place. People have already completed the whole darn thing, but not me, that’s wild, and I’m taking my time across Tennessee. What a silly little challenge! 21 days in and I am starting to feel like a new woman.
Health is Mental/Emotional:
I spent most of the day today at the beach in one long extended mental and emotional healthy action. I read, I meditated, I laid on my back in the sand, on my stomach in the sand, I played in the waves, and dried out in the warmth of the sun. It was a solo day, but I didn’t feel alone. I felt happy to have the time and space and location to take a day like today and tend to my mental and emotional health. It’s best for me to do this before it’s necessary. To keep infusing as much of it into my life as I can fit. Not waiting until things break but instead letting these sorts of days dominate. And I am incredibly lucky that I have the opportunity to do this. And the beach too, this is less that 4 miles from my front door.
Health is Spiritual
I slowly read Care of the Soul for hours today. I reread a lot of it and even came home and read some of it out-loud to Troy. The chapter I went through talked about the father, mother and child energy of the soul. It was less about actual fathers and mothers, and more about cultivating that style of energy in your soul. Allowing for it, seeing when it’s missing, and bringing awareness to the need for that spirit.
I really identified with the father energy in my life. Moore talks about Homer’s Odyssey, and how Odysseus goes through years of adventures and learning about life while his family crumbles at home. The energy of an absent father also defines the father energy. You can tell a lot about something through the loss of it.
Sometimes we may have to feel absence and emptiness in order to evoke the father.
—Thomas Moore
And he is not talking about actual relationships, but the relationship with self, with that energy inside.
I’m talking here about a deep father figure that settles into the soul to provide a sense of authority, the feeling that you are the author of your own life, that you are the head of the household in your own affairs.
Care of the soul’s fathering, therefore, requires that we sustain the experiences of absence, wandering, longing, melancholy, separation, chaos, and deep adventure.
—Thomas Moore
I have been seeking those qualities my whole life, trying to own my life, own my affairs. Adventure and separation have been threads that weave through my background and history. I identify strongly with father energy. So there was something really comforting about this part of the book.
Mother energy is so much about wanting to keep things safe, and knowing that you can not. Coming to terms with both these truths inside yourself is the work of the mother energy. This quote gave me all the feels:
Mothering is not a simple matter of taking care of the immediate needs of another; it is a recognition that each individual has a special character and fate—qualities of soul—that must be safeguarded even at the risk of losing ordinary assurances of safety and normality.
—Thomas Moore
This is very much how I mother Annie and also how I am learning to mother myself, to provide that safeguard despite what is thrown my direction. It’s helped me to understand the good in what feels uncomfortable and wrong. It’s created an ease and grace amidst challenging feelings and emotions. I love the way Thomas writes, I love his deep connection to ancient texts and his storytelling ability. This book is pure gold to me. It’s healing.
Insights
What a day! What a glorious glorious day. I love the studying that has developed through this month. I didn’t anticipate diving so deeply into the subjects that I have. With 10 more days, I know there is more coming down the line for me to explore as well. This has been an intense time, but in the best way possible.
Until tomorrow… in good health.