Dang I have been put in my place. Take something for granted in this sport and you'll get knocked upside your head. As per previous posts I've been a bit overwhelmed recently. I've been progressing through this Ironman build, coaching 15 athletes, and working for Rev3. Along with that Troy is IM training and I try to spend as much time as possible with Annie when she is out of school. I am a big believer in doing things that you love. So much so, that I like to set up my life so doing the things I love don't take work. Live next to the track, live simply, etc etc. I like to outsource the things I don't like doing, or get rid of them completely (one car, all the bills on autopay, organic veg delivered to the doorstep, etc)
I feel if you chase your love then good things will follow. And the funny thing is, my life is full of the stuff I love. Training, coaching, Rev3, Troy, Annie, PIC, I love all of that, so fulfilling! I don't feel like you can have too much of a good thing in your life but you can.
I was starting to feel like there weren't enough hours in the day, like I couldn't currently do all the things I love at once, at least not to the level that the perfectionist in me wants to do them at (100%). But my response was simply to buckle down, work harder, work faster, be more efficient, be better. The time that I used to have to hang out on the porch with a cup of hot coco was gone. I was about being productive, and focused...the majority of my days...7 days a week.
Then I got a saddle sore. That's odd. I'm used to riding my bike a lot and have never experienced one. Then it got worse, kept riding. Then it got to where every pedal stroke was pure pain. Then it got to where walking around was bad pain. I hauled myself into the doctor (usually a practice I save for Pap smears and drilling holes in my toenails to drain them). I had a fever, and infection, and a saddle sore that had to be cut open, drained, and packed with gauze.
I was laid up for several days on antibiotics with a nice amount of pain and a fever. I had to cancel my plans to work for Rev3 at Quassy this weekend, a race that I LOVE, and that 5 of my athletes are racing at, and at the last minute which left Rev3 high and dry, which still makes me weepy. I'm so disappointed in myself over this.
Laying in bed these days I think about Maffetone, about Chuckie, and how much it was drilled in me to seek health first. It's an adage I live by, and why I'm honestly not sweating the loss of fitness that this time off has no doubt resulted in. Dirk has been awesome along the way, and such a source of knowledge and experience, as he says "It's not the Titanic" which makes me laugh. I need to have a shirt made.
While I feel that "balance" doesn't have much of a place in Ironman, or Ironman training, or Ironman athletes, I do think that HEALTH is at the heart of the matter. It is painfully obvious to me that I am no good as a mom, as a wife, as a coach, as Transition coordinator, as a athlete, if I am laid up, stressed out, feverish, and on antibiotics. You have to take care of yourself if others are depending on you. You have to look out for #1, and you have to put health first.
So, while I am disappointed, and a little weepy about the last few days, I know that this is what had to happen.
Received loud and clear.
All we can expect of ourselves is to learn from these mistakes. Sure we may repeat them, sometimes they morph, sometimes the lessons taught fade and we have to be retaught. That's life.